Okay for those that don't know, I work in New York as an event photographer. In the last couple of months I've been working shooting events, parties and other annoying New York festivities. In this short time, I have met the most low down, scum bag, low lifes'

I have ever met in my 38 years on this earth. It's finally getting to me, being surrounded by the amount of negativity I'm exposed to. You think forum trolls are bad, you haven't seen nothing yet. If you have ever seen '24' the television series, that's how I feel on a constant basis. Everything is a conspiracy against me, other photographers talking behind my back, trying to get me fired, making up rumors and people pretending to be your friend, but really not.

As much as I love photography, I have a bitter taste in my mouth against other photographers I work with.
Why all the jealousy? Why all the animosity? I believe it is pure ignorance. Ignorance against someone who is more knowledgable, more intelligent then them. They are threaten by my existence, not because I am attacking them directly, but because of insecurities about their own abilities and skill.

I laugh at how the media tries to glamourize or tell a 'make-believe' story about the Paparazzi. It's all a joke. Many I have met, are sick individuals with social problems that if discovered would warrant legal involvement. These individuals live in a fantasy world torn between glamour and reality. I watch this fantasy, like an outsider looking in. Sickening to watch.

Some people ask me, why do you let it get to you? Why not just ignore it? As much as I try not to let it get to me, it feels like a bitter seed digging itself deeper into my being. The more I thicken my skin against these attacks, the more I get disgusted by how I am changing personally, becoming bitter, defensive and suspicious.
This is not a job for the nice. It's a lonely occupation, with empty stares and empty souls at every flash. A world devoid of truth, only illusions of world gone mad...
- to be continued